Scholastic’s Tips On Helping Kids Cope In Tough Times

Family and parenting expert Denise Daniels explains how to help children learn to cope during these tough times.

With the growing number of job losses in the workforce today, new issues are emerging for parents and children. When a job loss occurs, it undoubtedly affects the entire family. While much attention has been focused on helping adults ease their stress; until now little information has been available to help children cope. For example, children often internalize the blame for a parent’s job loss, remembering a time when they interrupted or distracted that parent from work. They also wonder how their world will be different, who will be there to take care of them. Because children often lack the verbal skills to express their emotions, you may instead notice aggressive behavior in their play. At school, a decline in grades or an inability to concentrate is common. Younger children may develop signs of regressive behavior such as bed-wetting, thumb-sucking, or clinginess. Dealing with this kind of behavior is even harder for parents who are financially stressed and emotionally drained.

What Can I Do? My Journal for Caring and Sharing in Tough Times (available from Scholastic books) is a tool to help children develop coping strategies. It includes activities to help children learn to identify, express, and manage feelings of loss and change. The journal will also help them identify their support systems, while reinforcing self-esteem and open communication.

The tips below are available in English and Spanish from the Scholastic website.

How you can help your family cope during tough times.

• Try to deal openly and honestly with your child about your job loss. Children are perceptive and intuitive. Attempts to protect your child by hiding the news will only add to his or her confusion. When you deliberately talk about your feelings, your children learn first-hand that verbally expressing emotions is healthy and natural.

• Provide your child with reassurance that although you have lost your job, in time you will find another. In the meantime, you will do your best to take care of him or her. It may also reassure your child to know that there is a place people go to get financial support and help finding another job (the unemployment office).

• Life is full of changes. Some are more difficult than others. Talk to your child about the changes he or she is experiencing right now. Talk about which ones are easy and which ones are hard.
• Encourage your child to express his or her feelings and worries by providing an environment in which your child feels comfortable and safe to share.

• Unfortunately, we live in a society where we are often defined by our work. Parental job loss is an opportunity to teach our children values. Talk with your child about what he or she believes to be unique and special about each member of your family, and that those things don’t change.

• Together as a family, develop an action plan to define the cost-saving changes during this transition period. For example, this can be as simple as deciding to stay home to have a family fun night or saving together for a family vacation.

• It is very important during stressful times to encourage your child to play. Play is essential to his or her development as well as an opportunity to express feelings and manage stress. Playing together as a family can also be fun!

• We all need hugs from time to time. Physical closeness of loved ones will provide comfort during times of uncertainty. Although you may be under stress, make an effort to maintain physical closeness with your child. This will provide the comforting reassurance a child needs during times of transition.

• Consider having weekly family meetings, giving each member of the family a time to share, ask questions, and stay informed. The meetings can be informal and fun while sharing a pizza! The point is to simply check in with one another and provide support and encouragement.

-Adapted from: “What Can I Do?” Parent letter and Parent Guide: http://www.scholastic.com/aboutscholastic/whatcanido/ retrieved 4/30/09.

 

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